Today was a somewhat terrible day, and despite my best intentions and a significant amount of work, I ended up with a 72 on a midterm. In the UK, I would be hitting the ceiling with happiness, but unfortunately, conversion scales as they are, I am mildly depressed. To be fair, it’s a good grade and I know several who did worse. However, this grade is destined for an Oxford MA application and thus is somewhat off the mark. I know exactly why I didn’t do better, and further, it is not my fault. Which makes it even worse.
So I am attempting to boost my morale once more, under the influence of a stack of articles on Gothic architecture. No doubt, it’s not working particularly well.
I am at this university for a year to do something different, set myself a true challenge and really push the boat out. The boat happens to be floundering and taking in water, but I am equipped with paddles and a bucket. That’s all I think I need. Or at least, hope.
I have never studied History of Art, Philosophy, Psychology, Paleography, Religion, Holocaust Theory (with elements of Hebrew), Conservation or, for that matter, Chinese. It’s completely new, and i’m taking 300-400 level courses in everything but Chinese. I knew it would be tough. Unfortunately, doing well appears to matter more than I thought it did, simply because I have a dream sauntering over my head.
One day, I shall do a PhD, in something, at a good university. And one day, I will teach, and teach well. I will communicate a love of my subject to the whole world, and I am not going to give up on that. I’m just not sure how i’ll get there.
So, I am reverting back to the original intention of this blog, and turning further to intellectualism. I shall discuss, summarise, argue, coerce and plead my way into every interesting discussion under the sun. And God help me, one of these days, i’ll get there.
I just wish I knew where “there” is.
Derek the Ænglican said,
November 4, 2008 at 1:26 pm
You’re taking on quite a heavy load! As a medievalist who has to keep up OE, Latin, Greek, and Hebrew myself, one of my best decisions was to let my Japanese slide for a while–I’ll always be able to brush up on it later… I’d encourage you to do the same with your Chinese for now. You’ve got many years of scholarly inquiry ahead, don’t try to cram all of your interests into this one year.
sceopellen said,
November 4, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I have indeed done so! I just wish I could start on Latin, Old English etc. But unfortunately, classes are either full, well-underway or thin on the ground! Thanks for your wise words.