Today was a somewhat terrible day, and despite my best intentions and a significant amount of work, I ended up with a 72 on a midterm. In the UK, I would be hitting the ceiling with happiness, but unfortunately, conversion scales as they are, I am mildly depressed. To be fair, it’s a good grade and I know several who did worse. However, this grade is destined for an Oxford MA application and thus is somewhat off the mark. I know exactly why I didn’t do better, and further, it is not my fault. Which makes it even worse.
So I am attempting to boost my morale once more, under the influence of a stack of articles on Gothic architecture. No doubt, it’s not working particularly well.
I am at this university for a year to do something different, set myself a true challenge and really push the boat out. The boat happens to be floundering and taking in water, but I am equipped with paddles and a bucket. That’s all I think I need. Or at least, hope.
I have never studied History of Art, Philosophy, Psychology, Paleography, Religion, Holocaust Theory (with elements of Hebrew), Conservation or, for that matter, Chinese. It’s completely new, and i’m taking 300-400 level courses in everything but Chinese. I knew it would be tough. Unfortunately, doing well appears to matter more than I thought it did, simply because I have a dream sauntering over my head.
One day, I shall do a PhD, in something, at a good university. And one day, I will teach, and teach well. I will communicate a love of my subject to the whole world, and I am not going to give up on that. I’m just not sure how i’ll get there.
So, I am reverting back to the original intention of this blog, and turning further to intellectualism. I shall discuss, summarise, argue, coerce and plead my way into every interesting discussion under the sun. And God help me, one of these days, i’ll get there.
I just wish I knew where “there” is.